So I asked a girl out for coffee a couple of months ago. I do believe it was in August.
Anyway, I saw her studying while eating at our college’s cafeteria. She used to be in one of my classes during my freshman year. This was the first time I saw her in about three months, so I decided to just say hi. We got into a conversation about writing and about how our summers were. You know, casual conversation. Sadly, I had to end our talk because I had Spanish class coming up.
I got home that night and I thought about the talk I had with this girl. I decided to shoot her a text and see if she wanted to grab some coffee in the near future. Now, I didn’t ask her at the time of our conversation because the idea never crossed my mind.
Sure, asking someone out for a date through text is not the ideal way to go about it, but hey, hindsight is 20/20. I can’t go back and redo it again.
Ok, so I fumble around my phone for twenty minutes, trying to compose a text that would properly express my desire to go grab a nice cup of coffee while we keep each other company. Up until that point, I haven’t asked anyone “out” for a long while, so I had to make sure this text was straight fire.
I finally type up something that is decent and I sent the text, immediately putting my phone face down so I don’t see a response because I’m a little schoolgirl or something. I played football with my buddies while I waited.
Boy, did I wait. Around two hours later, I went to Taco Bell because beef that is not actually beef was the only thing that could fill the hole that my confidence left after this girl ripped it from my chest. A burrito and a half later there was a response. I opened the message like one would remove a band-aid: quickly to minimize the pain experienced.
She responded that she would love to get some coffee with me! Fantastic! She also asked how my day was, which was nice. I responded back asking if Friday worked for her. I told her how my day was and I asked her the same. To this day, she has yet to respond.
Now, I don’t know exactly what went wrong. Maybe something in her personal life occurred that made her not reply. I like to think, however, that she had a really shitty day, and she’s still typing because it was that bad. I won’t get my hopes up.
Then again, that last theory doesn’t hold up. The other day I saw her walking down the same sidewalk I was walking down. I could have taken a hard right to avoid her , but that would lead me through a soccer game that was going on between a team of people that looked like they could beat me up, and another team that equally looked like they could beat me up. I kept walking towards her. What happened next made me wish I walked through the soccer field. At least then, they couldn’t beat up my feeling like she did.
So we kept walking towards each other like a very slow moving train crash. I looked at her, at her eyes, as we eventually passed each other. I did this in efforts to show that there were no hard feelings. The thing is that she was looking forward. The forward she was looking towards wasn’t a natural forward. It was a synthetic forward full of awkwardness and social anxiety. She was trying too hard to look forward. I didn’t say hi because she wasn’t looking at me. That’s like going for a high five and not getting one. I know some of you know what I mean by this. Either way, I kept walking down the sidewalk. I couldn’t help but laugh.
It baffles me that I couldn’t say hi and she couldn’t look me in the eye. There was no reason for this awkward exchange to happen. We didn’t even go for coffee. Nothing changed because we never went to grab coffee. In fact, the opposite happened. Nothing happened. I literally was at the same point in my life that I was prior to this even, yet I can’t even say hi to her. What was the worst that could have happened? I already didn’t grab coffee with her. She wasn’t going to get less coffee with me if I said hi. There is no such thing as negative coffee. Coffee exists in only absolute values.