Friends That Aren’t Friends Anymore

 

I have been friends with a friend for a couple of years now. We weren’t always friends. Several years ago I was a stranger to this person. I had no idea of the existence of this person. I originally met this stranger through pen pals letters that we would send to each other in our English class. It was for a grade at first, but we did it for fun even after I graduated.

Around two years ago, I was in some sort of romantic relationship with this person. I don’t know exactly what it was, or what I would call it now. We weren’t dating, but we weren’t not serious about each other. Either way, this person was my first love. It was only for a couple of months, but I was sure I loved them.

This I knew because I was working at Sonic at the time. My manager would see me waving at her through the glass door when she would show up there after a choir concert. She asked me if I loved her once, and I couldn’t answer because I was afraid to say yes. My manager would laugh and say that of course I loved her. Not too long after, I told her I loved her.

Without getting into detail, we split apart for a while but we became friends after a month or two without contact.  We started writing our pen pal letters again, with some frequency, but I wanted something more. The “something more” never happened again, but we remained friends, and I grew to accept and enjoy said friendship.

The reason I stopped writing the letters, I think, is because one of my letters got returned back to me, so I couldn’t write another one. I think I couldn’t move on with my life unless I stopped those. It’s one of those existential moments that you get.

She reads these posts sometimes, I think. I still think of her as a friend, but a distant friend. The kind of friend that you only talk to on holidays and birthdays. That’s just where we are at the moment.

The point of all this is to say that sometimes people are transient. Some people come into your life for a split second and flip your life upside-down. The time a person spends in your life does not determine whether they are significant or not. I think it’s how they impact you and change you as a person that matters.

Our friends, lovers, partners, doctors, teachers, strangers in general sometimes drift apart. That’s ok as long as no one was hurt in the process. By hurt I mean that no one died or no ailment that would follow a said person throughout their lives occurred. If all parties involved can recover from this drift or break, then we have to be ok with that.

I’ve been friends with certain people for 7 years now. I love them all to death, but maybe one day some of them will have to go their separate ways. This is just life. It’s an ever-changing thing that we can’t control beyond ourselves. The strongest ties can and probably will be weakened by time.

However, this isn’t the case for all social relationships you have. Some people stay in your life whether you fucking like it or not. You gotta appreciate those ties. You know who these people are. They might be bad people or they might be good people. These people are there for the whole ride. They might nag you, they might annoy you, they might hate you or vice versa. You gotta accept that they’re going to be around for a very long time.

We are our own planets roaming the universe. A lot of other planets drift by and are pulled into your gravitational force for only a moment, or for several moments. Others are sucked right in and join you in your drift down the emptiness. You don’t know more people than you know. But is that a bad thing? Let them go. Let them drift by. Sometimes individuals come into your life to only change it.

I hope you’re doing well. Stay well, and don’t skip meals.

Love,

Hector Salas

 

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